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SarahMarie711
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Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 7/11/1982
Gender: Female
Interests: No time! But I love to read (for fun, not school books)
Expertise: Studying, cause I do it all the time
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
10/9/2003
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| its only tuesday and already it feels like its been an insane week. drama at work, drama in my head, i just want to crawl into a hole and wait til its all over. at first, i thought it might be good for me to plan to go out weds night and stay out and have fun since i never get to do that during the week since i always have work in the morning. and i took thursday off, so i thought that might be perfect timing. but now i just dontknow. i was planning on going down to irvine to just get away, see some of my friends, get my diploma....but now i dont even want to do that. i just want to sit at home and stay in bed all day. i dont want to go out weds, i want to sit at home again. but i dont know how to back out of the plans i already made. and i dont feel like explaining why im backing out of these plans. cause in the end, i just look like a crazy emotional girl. which i know i am, but still. ugh. crawling into hole now.... | | |
| Its so weird. cause i finally have decided that there is no chance. and that there is no way i would ever be respected in the relationship. but then little things happen, and it makes me wonder. makes me think maybe i would be. makes me feel that emotional connection again, instead of just the physical one. makes me feel that old crush like i did in high school. excited when i had a conversation, looking forward for the next one. its pathetic really, but it feels good. | | |
| Its weird to say, but I'm glad the weekend is over. I have been dreading this weekend for a long time, so to have it overwith makes life a little easier. I had a family reunion type thing on Saturday, which doesnt sound like it should be such a terrible thing, but in my mind it was. It was my family who i had not seen in 5 years, cause my moms funeral was the last time we were all together. which isnt the happiest memory either. so i was looking forward to seeing everyone, but anxious at the same time. cause its 5 years later, yet this will be the first time we have to deal with my moms absence. and its going to be obvious since we have no practice doing this before. so i started the day off crying already. seeing my aunt and cousin was great, but watching them interact just reminded me of my mom and i, which made me sad at the same time that it made me happy. i know how happy my aunt is that they are close, cause i remember her being worried that if something ever happened to her, her kids wouldnt care. but sad cause i just miss my mom even more after watching all that. seeing my uncle was hard too. i know he doesnt like to see me because i remind him too much of my mom, but i stil want him in my life. we both got teary eyed, but promised to see each other for thanksgiving. and my cousins graduation from boot camp. i feel like i have my fmaily back, and im sad that we have all missed 5 years. i forgot how much i liked those people. and i know my mom is so happy that we are all finally together again. | | |
| this weekend was fun, but it made me really sad. tommy says he never remembers me being this emotional before, maybe i just didnt have anything to be emotional about. or maybe the emotions didnt concern him so he never knew. but now, i just miss my friends. as much as i hated irvine and newport when i was there, i realize now just how much fun i had being close to my friends. living a block away from josh was always fun, when he would just pop by on his stolen skateboard. or being a few blocks away from shirin to go eat food late at night, or watch celebrities uncensored. and in newport, i was blocks away from tommy, which means i always called him wondering what we were eatting for dinner and when we were getting gelato again. these people made my irvine experience something i always will remember, with good memories too. im jeaolus that they all started classes again, cause i wish i was walking on the campus with them, bitching about the proffs, laughing at them sleeping through classes yet still getting better grades then me and getting bagels and hot chocolate. i miss our 'study sessions' where we didnt get anything accomplished other then having fun. now we all live in different places and are doing different things, but i gotta say, when it was good, it was really good. i love those people so much. thanks for all the good memories guys, and thanks for making irvine fun. | | |
| i almost forgot i even had a xanga. and since im always bored at work looking for something to do, its not a good thing to forget.
i went to see face to face last night at the house of blues in anaheim. it was pretty fun, but i still dont know that many face to face song. yet ive seen them three times now. there was some psycho crazy girl having convulsions in front of us and i thought chris and i were going to get hit. i guess she just really liked face to face. then when we were in the parking lot getting ready to leave, we saw some girl in a civic back into a blazer and rip off her bumper. we heard the crash, looked at what happened, and then watched her try to leave. so chris got out and took down her plates and called the cops. there was a huge dent in the other car too, so that sucked for them. i would have been pissed if someone hit my car. now im really tired today though, and its only thursday. of the 6 partners at my work, only 1 of them will be here today. and the girl right above me is sick and heading home pretty soon anyway. so im thinking i should take a nap on my desk after lunch. and im leaving straight from work to my stepdad's to have dinner with him and my sister since shes out visiting this week. then at 7, brie and i are heading to burbank. im glad tomorrow is friday at least. i feel like i havent been home all week, and then i go into the kitchen to grab a dr pepper before i head to work and see my dishes still in the sink from sunday night, and i realize i really havent been home at all.
so tommy is having a party, im sorry, a chill-out on saturday, and hopefully shirn and tanya go so i can see them cause its been a really long time. and josh is coming back to irvine next weds he says, so i can see him again. i havent see him since the last day of finals spring quarter, and thats just too long.
speaking of josh, taking back sunday is playing in LA in october, and i really wanna go see them. i saw them like a year ago in san diego, and i really liked the show, so i think i gotta go to this one now too. gotta get josh to come along with me too.
damn today is going so slow. its only 8:40. | | |
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